Friday, 6 May 2011

Number Sixteen: The Gift

I’m going to stick my neck out and say that (the way things stand) cancer has given me the gift of time.

I don’t mean to be insensitive, I’m well aware that usually cancer robs us of precious time but I’m not even contemplating the fact that this beast breast thing will shorten my time. As far as I’m concerned the cancer has been cut out and my body, which is now being zapped just in case- so that’s that!
So, the gift of time… since chemo number 1; I have spent about a week feeling ill but then had over a week feeling well! Yay! And boy have I used every moment of that well feeling time!
So here’s how I’ve spent my ‘well time’
Planning my blog posts obviously- but now I’m actually hooked on reading other people’s blogs too! I opened my reader this morning to find 30 new posts to read- most are Australian so are posted when I’m asleep- this is making getting out of bed very difficult as I keep reading then on my phone in bed!
I had never read a blog before the beast breast and I also was not into Twitter… not anymore! I’m a newly afflicted Twitter addict! The Tweets perpetuate the blogs- it’s a vicious, time consuming circle! 
I have turned our study into my studio. Studio projects include- painting the canvas that has been in my garage blank for two years- it’s now ready to hang in the boys’ room! Making printing blocks- lino cutting, digging out the three picture book plans I drafted years ago- I’m thinking of giving them their own blog and I’m going to call it: Jack-A-Morley! (I am over the moon with this title!) Oh and I need to make Michelle her own mod-roc cow- she needs one!
I’ve spent hours trying on hats and perfecting tying scarves around my now bald head and I’ve even had a wig fitting that went surprisingly well! The parking bit did NOT go well but I think we would definitely win the award for ‘Most efficient wig choosers whilst parked in a 30min bay’! Thanks Helen! I do love a bit of efficiency! (Same for clothes shopping- if I don’t love it instantly then I’m not interested!)
So even if it’s not exactly ‘The Gift of Time’ cancer has gifted me with (I’m being far too generous here, I know!) It has definitely given me the gift of perspective… there’s the smack in the face, realise your own mortality, life’s too short, you only life once thing that hits you at diagnosis but then there’s the bit that I’m currently experiencing… the more subtle gift of perspective. I’m being able to take time out while I heel. Timeout of work, parenting, cleaning, and I’m gathering myself. I’m remembering things I used to enjoy. I’m taking a breather from the life that was running away with me and considering what I’d really like life to be about. So for this gift I am thankful, hopefully I’ll continue to feel well for more than 50% of the time and if this is the case then I intend to be creating lots of beautiful things! Cheers beast breast! (Sort of/ish!)

Here are some of my favourite blogs...

and here's the cow


  1. So so true Erin, I might not be 'grabbing life by the horns' or whatever but, this diagnosis has definitely made me realise that some things are just not worth worrying about....& i'm appreciating the simple things in life again. Glad to hear the wig fitting went well too! Take care honey, Love Chez. xx

  2. Oh Erin - so proud you popped Sshh Mummys on the Phone on your list. Thank you. I'm so glad I can give you a laugh and a half every now and then, considering all you are facing. Have trawled through your blog. Amazing. Kick it's arse. Love, Pen

  3. Loving your blog Penny, you have no idea how much its title resonated with me- my phone calls usually just end with 'Sorry I'm going to have to go I just can't hear you!' The Shhing never works!
    And Chez, you're doing well because so far I just keep forgetting to take my Tamoxifen! Xx