|Life's little ups and downs!|
Hello? Are you still there?
I know I’ve been quiet for a while but it’s honestly because I’ve been so busy getting on with my life- shouldn’t really apologise for that! I guess in actual fact, in the real world I’ve been anything but quiet! My other excuse is that I really haven’t had anything cancery to say! Once radiotherapy was done most appointments have stopped and nothing at all interesting has happened during any of the herceptin visits so nothing to say there either! Even the hot flushes have just about stopped! I promised myself that I wouldn’t continue to waffle aimlessly- if I have nothing cancer-ish to say then I would not write a blog post- simple.
Getting back to real life has been a lot of fun but is very up and down and is definitely best described as a rollercoaster! I went on a hen night and spent the whole time either feeling bald, fat and ugly and noticing strangers quickly look away embarrassed that they’d accidently caught my eye or feeling wonderfully proud of myself that despite everything I was still out partying and dancing the night away! It’s exhausting having these mixed emotions- I honestly can’t even keep up with them myself! (Possibly the vodka laced sangria had something to do with the emotion! I’ve always been an emotional drunk!)
The other tricky thing is keeping sight of that new found perspective I’ve harped on so much about! The best thing I had taken from this whole beast breast experience was not to take anything for granted, to enjoy life and not to sweat the small stuff. But my God that perspective can be a slippery bugger! I so easily stress over little things and have to have a proper word with myself! It’s full time job this relaxed approach you know!
In the last week I have started back at the gym and have even been eating more sensibly- the being fat gets me down way more than the bald does so I’m being proactive. All evidence points to both Herceptin and Tamoxifen interfering with losing weight but I’m determined to try anyway.
The other thing I’ve done is plan my party- my getting better party party party! My happiest times are dancing- cheesy discos, wedding receptions, hen nights- you name it- I do love a boogie! SO in order to have more dancing in my life I’ve decided I must have a party. (I’m well aware that if I’m choosing the music people might not even come but then hey- dance floor to myself- it wouldn’t be the first time!)
I’m sure things will continue to be up and down for a while but hopefully everything will even out and just maybe become a little more high than low? After all crappy 2011 is nearly behind us! I am so looking forward to this weekend- more partying AND we’re going to see Tim Minchin- ridiculously excited about this- see you Friday Tim! Definite rollercoaster high!