Determined to look on the bright side, one of the first things I turned my attention to was recording a list of silver linings. Anything good that has followed as a result of the obvious bad news! (I think telling everyone over and over again about the silver linings actually helped perpetuate a steady flow of gifts- not just a pretty face hey!) I’ve just checked my scribbled list and have forty! Four. O. Not too bad!
So, here’s a list of the top ten…
10. No more underwire in my life- have always hated bras… first thing to come off whenever I get home. (Hilariously for me people are currently bidding on my old bras on ebay!) Plus I don’t have to worry about looking good- even if I look shocking visitors are still obliged to say I look brilliant. (Sometimes they add… considering.. which I do NOT like!)
9. New pyjamas- my favourite thing in the world! (I even ironed them for my two hospital stays!) Get me in PJs with no bra under ‘the best blanket in the world’ in front of a good crime drama and that’s where I’m happiest!
8. Not working! Do not have to think about getting back into work clothes for ages! No work shoes=new converse- a very good investment! Missed the little Ofsted visit last week- this can only be a good thing! (Plus no APP in my life right now- this alone is a HUGE cancer perk!) And not rushing back to work after baby number two has meant I can spend loads more time with my gorgeous cheeky bundle.
7. Pandora charms- Bless Pandora for having a breast cancer range! Although they need to add a new collection as I now have them all… come on Pandora! (Spoilt you’re wondering?)
6. No dishwasher… I literally have not emptied or loaded since diagnosis! I have dishwasher aversion at the best of times but thank god I now have a brilliant excuse! Number 6 is now reminding me of ‘The Rota’ at my old school where if the dishwasher was forgotten on your turn you were named and shamed on the staffroom notice board! (A tactic that did not phase the then very laid back ‘I’m a man in a primary school- isn’t that enough’ attitude of my now husband!
5. Autographs-The hilarious Girl Skidz has written a ‘well over the top’ email to all the famous people I love. She’s given them a proper sob story version of events and now I’m getting quite a stock pile of signatures, posters and souvenirs. Thank you Skidz!
4. Two Massive boxes of presents from my lovely school. Filled with a ridiculous amount of goodies for my whole family. It’s very lovely when something like this happens- restores your faith in humanity (if you’ve lost it because you’ve been watching Jeremy Kyle- more fool you! You know who you are!)
3. The return of having a cleaner… Yay to having a brilliant excuse for a cleaner AND not having to work full time! And he might just be about the nicest man ever- he is able to sit drinking coffee, chatting to me AND get the house clean- amazing! I’m starting to think of him as a Monday morning visitor with benefits! (Some of my neighbours have cleaners without a valid excuse- judge them if you will!)
2. The IPhone- Sorry to bring it up Girl K but as Rob says ‘I love it like a third child!’ It’s changed my life as much as cancer has (bold statement- don’t think Apple will be using it in an advertising campaign anytime soon!) It has however got me ridiculously addicted to facebook and now twitter too! And I have to live with the constant panic of not dropping it down the toilet like the last phone- I will never learn and will not be told!
1. My friends… I see so much more of them now- bit of a wake up call for all of us really. Life is short and we’d much rather spend it laughing (at each other) than working. (Or in my case sleeping!) The love, care, support and sarcasm I have been shown is amazing and I love them. Please note: sisters are included here as friends. I am lucky enough to have sisters who I count as amazing friends!
There are of course clouds for each of these silver linings and I wonder above all how this thing will have changed me. For Good I hope. (Thank you Elphaba!) I wonder how in the end it will have affected my confidence- particularly when returning to work after such a long break. Temporarily though it seems to have given me a ‘live for the moment’ confidence where I don’t want to waste time and now keep speaking my mind rather loudly- this could be dangerous! Oh well!